Peck, Hamsters Continue Season of Controversy
June 1, 2001
Galena, IL--Matthew Peck, owner/GM of the Galena Hamsters and commissioner
of PVBL baseball, has been mired in controversy for much of the season.
First came the attacks on corporation-owned franchises. The Hamsters are
owned by Peck Enterprises, a billion dollar real-estate and
hotel/motel/service corporation. Mr. Peck purchased the Hamsters franchise
in 1996, a year before the inaugural PVBL season. During the outcry against
corporation owned franchises, Tricia Tiermann, 22, an employee of the Galena
Hamsters, spoke out against Mr. Peck, the Galena Hamsters franchise, and the
all-you-care-to-eat mega buffet offered to all workers and Hamster players.
Tiermann, a svelte 120 pounds before getting her secretarial job in the
Galena Hamsters front office, ballooned up to 170 pounds and blames her
large weight gain on the succulent offerings of the Hamster Buffet.
"The Hamsters made me fat!" exclaimed Tiermann in a recent interview on
local station FOX 28/40, "I'm suing the Hamsters for $100,000. It's for pain
and suffering. The pain is from my boyfriend leaving me because of the
weight gain. The suffering is from putting up with chubby jokes in the
office. Peck will pay!"
Tiermann, armed with a decree from Weight Watchers that officially
declared her "chubby," went to battle Mr. Peck in the courtroom last Friday
afternoon. The judge declared that Mr. Peck was not at fault, and that
Tiermann ate amply from the buffet with her own free will, "The judge knows
his judging," quipped Peck, "We at Peck Enterprises do not force food down
our employees throat. We feel they can eat what they want. Fortunately, the
great Hamster Buffet will remain for all to enjoy, even Tricia."
After the court hearing, Ms. Tiermann immediately stated she was taking
this case to a higher court, "This is not over. This is only the beginning.
Peck thinks he won, but I'll get up again and kick his a**!. We're going to
the state, baby!"
"I eat chicken off the Hamster Buffet before every start," admitted RHP
Scott Erickson, "I would be completely out of rhythm if I was forced to
abandon the buffet. I am very glad the judge ruled in our favor. Long live
the Hamster Buffet!"
Note: Matthew Peck was fined $500 for rudeness when he was on the stand and
remarked that Tricia's suit was a bit snug.
