Galena (AP)--Many have likened Matthew Peck's Hamsters to Camelot, but is
Peck still a knight in shining armor, or is that armor becoming a bit
tainted? It seems that Camelot is finally starting to crumble, what with the
controversy generated by Hamsters employee Tricia Tiermann, and the recent
attack on corporate owned franchises spawned by the recent sale of the
Anchorage Abominations to Sun MicroSystems. Before this sale, most people
did not really care that the Hamsters were owned by Peck Enterprises, but
after the SunMicroSystems sale some fans are taking heed.
"The Hamsters are ********!!" exclaimed Jack Frederickson, a baseball
fan from St. Louis, MI, "So are the SolarCats. Has anyone noticed that
Galena has never won less than 100 games in a season? That's ridiculous. If
the other teams in this league got the same kind of financial support that
the Hamsters get, the Hamsters wouldn't stand a chance. God knows they're
coaches don't have the brains to get talent of mid-level players."
Frederickson is not the only person that has these feelings about Galena.
When questioned about the supposed advantage, Peck claimed the Hamsters'
payroll is not out of line.
"It's true that we have one of the higher payrolls in PVBL," admitted
Peck, "but we certainly are not splurging. I believe we spend our money
tactfully and smartly, getting the most out of our payroll. Take a look at
last year's offseason. There was a lot of big name free agents on the
market, but we didn't throw our money around. We made a financially prudent
decision to sign Reynoso for $1.5 million and managed to re-sign Bernie
Williams to a long term contract." Williams was given a 3 year-$30 million
dollar contract during the off season and is the highest paid Hamster. The
Hamsters' payroll currently stands at $64,000,000.
"My job is to put the most competitive team on the field," claimed Peck,
"and that usually means a willingness to give players their due. If we have
the resources to meet our goals, I am not going to apologize for using
them." Galena's payroll is expected to surge after the 2001 season, with
Wilton Guerrero, Brian Johnson, Carl Pavano, Roberto Petagine expected to be
free agents. Kevin Appier, Kenny Lofton, and Andruw Jones will also be
seeking new contracts, "Don't expect the same squad back next year if the
payroll is forced to jump considerably," warned Peck, "an $85,000,000
payroll is nuts. Besides, we've got a lot of youngsters just waiting for
their shot."
It is not just the payroll that gives the Hamsters an advantage, it's
the intangibles as well. Peck allocates so much money to Hamster stadium
that the atmosphere at the ballpark is incredible. The controversial buffet
alone is estimated to cost Peck Enterprises well over one million dollars!
Galena's buffet costs more than any player on the Deadwood team, now the
Rivera has been traded to Sun MicroSystems! Ironically, it may be splurging
that ultimately brings down the Hamsters, if Tiermann has her way. Tiermann
officially filed suit against the Galena Hamsters and Peck Enterprises this
morning at the Jo Daviess County Courthouse. Tiermann is suing the Hamsters
for gaining 50 pounds due to the everpresent Hamster buffet, available for
all employees and players of the Hamsters. Tiermann is still working as a
secretary for the Hamsters, "I don't hold a grudge against her," says Peck,
"She's doing what she thinks she needs to do, "Besides, I don't think it's
legal for us to fire her...."
