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SunMicrosystems SolarCats

Sun Microsystems' Baseball Club President Resigns, Future of Team Unknown
June 1, 2001

San Jose (AP) - Sun Microsystems' SolarCats baseball club president Nicholas Tulach has issued a formal resignation of his position with the team. In an emotionally-charged press conference, Tulach broke out into a violent rage for no apparent reason. The death toll stands at 13, with 22 others seriously injured. Tulach was released on $45.78 bond.

Tulach issued his resignation after it was found that he and others within the organization were no longer committed to winning as they had been in the previous three seasons. "I always said that if I cannot run the team at full capacity, I would step away and allow another individual to take over the operations. Sun had expressed interest in selling the team already and I did not wish to leave the Bay Area. I do not have any information regarding the possible future of this ball club." said Tulach just prior to the unexpected melee. "Whatever happens, I wish them well."

Tulach plans to use his new-found free time "partying like its 1999".

written by Nick Tulach

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