San Jose (AP) - The SolarCats completed the much talked about deal for ace
right-hander Mariano Rivera today. Talks stalled on Sun's original offer,
and they were forced to sweeten the deal. After lengthy negotiations with
Deadwood owner Phil Raisor, SolarCats GM "the Man" was able to complete the
five-player deal, sending Art Danforth, Geoff Jenkins, newly-acquired Lee
Barker and veteran Marc Wilkins to Deadwood in exchange for Rivera, one of the
premier fireballer in the league.
"Rivera gives us that legitimate ace who we have been seeking since our
move to Anchorage and subsiquent sale to Sun. Sun provided us with the
necessary resources to pull of this deal, allowing us the capital to sign
Rivera to a contract extension right off the bat." said Tulach, showing signs
of obivous fatigue from last night late-night viewing of "He Got Game" starring
the Milwaukee Bucks Ray Allen, only on DirecTV. "We sacrificed a lot of our
future for Mariano, but I believe that the opportunity to have a pitcher of
his caliber is worth the price we paid."
Notes:
- Citizens of Anchorage were insanely violent during the team's departure
from the city. SolarCats president Nick Tulach has had a bounty placed
on his head and has been banned from the state of Alaska for life. "This
leaves us nothing to kill each other about," said one concerned citizen.
"TV barely quenches our American inherint thirst for violence." Another
angry citizen exclaimed, "We need a good, long, bloody war to solve the
problems that are present in today's society." Poopmoose Park was eerily
dark today, just a burned out shell of its former glory.
- SolarCats GM "the Man" has hinted that he may notbe done dealing yet.
"Well, as long as Columbia is still a country, I'll never run out of
deals. Oh, you mean trading? Well, I think we have a couple of starters
available now." said "the Man". Sun is rumored to be shopping Scott
Aldred, Ken Hill, injured Willie VanLandingham, and possibly former #1
starter Mike Bottenfield.
