You look at the standings and see that the Montreal Royals and the Edmonton
Sled Dogs ended up the season tied for the the McCoy division title. There
was no 1-game playoff, so did the league commissioner decide that Edmonton
got the title? It turns out a little-know rule goes into effect.
Essentially, the two team owners must compete in a contest whereby each
owner must take turns drinking a bottle of beer and then reciting the
national anthem. This continues until one of the owners fails to sing the
anthem correctly.
Peter Carbonetto, owner of the Montreal Royals, started off on a roll. He
alternated between bottles of Molson Dry and Boreale Sleeman's Honey Ale
and his Oh! Canada recitings actually made some of the people in the
audience cry. Sled Dogs owner Brian Sculac was feeling the heat but he did
not cave under pressure. Through 4 rounds, nothing had been decided.
By the fifth beer, Carbonetto burped on queue for the word "guard" but on
commitee review, he passed. But Brian Sculac sang audaunted for the fifth
time, and Carbonetto was starting to look worried (and very deranged).
After downing a cold glass of Sleeman's, Carbonetto cruised through the
first two lines of the Canadin anthem but then started speaking in French:
"Car ton bras s'est porter l'epee... il s'est porter la croix...". The
judges, who were all English, didn't know a word of what Carbonetto was
saying so they immediately disqualified him. Now it was up to Sculac. If he
could recite the beer (I mean, Canadian) anthem his team would go on to the
playoffs.
Sculac was cunning enough to use his stash of Coors and Bush beer in this
contest instead of high-alcoholic content Canadian brew. Sculac's finale
was his best, and upon the last words he was hoisted by the Edmonton
players like a victory celebration.
Isn't this great? Even though the Montreal Royals lost out of the playoffs
due to a technicality, Peter Carbonetto still keeps his sense of humour.
What an awesome dude. Well, let me be frank. I'm about as happy as a snail
in the Dead Sea. And all by anger other the past year will be completely
vented against Edmonton. As of now, a new generation of hatred and rivalry
begins. The Royals franchise created a new post called Anti-Edmonton Scout.
Currently, Frank Viola, Hubie Brooks and Wayne Gretzky are the top
candidates.
It's not to say that the Montreal Royals deserved the division title any
more than the Edmonton Sled Dogs. Neither team has ever made the playoffs
and both have fought hard over the years. The demise of the Hartford
Whalers, then the Deadwood Outlaws, opened up the the door for both teams.
Despite all their differences, both teams had elite offenses and solid
pitching. The main difference between the two teams is that Edmonton is an
exciting, young team while Montreal is pretty predictable. The Sled Dogs
had surprise seasons from the likes of Tim Belcher, Robin Ventura and Greg
Vaughn. The Montreal Royals meanwhile did not get any surprises (with the
possible exception of Jack McDowell), and few dissapointments. The only
dissapointment was Frank Thomas, who had a good year, but nothing like his
numbers in 1999.
