Playoff Dreams Fading, Abominations Turn to Rivalry September 31, 2000
Anchorage AK (AP) - At the end of last season the Abominations were struggling
to pull out of the cellar in the Hamster-dominated Spock division. The
AllKnighters were battling with the New Diggens Budweiser Frogs for the
wild card spot, in hopes of making their first playoff appearance. The teams
faced off in the season's final series and Anchorage ruined Ann Arbor's
post-season hopes. What a difference a year makes. Fast-forward to the
present. The Anchorage-Ann Arbor bitter rivalry is once again culminating
in the final series of the regular season, though this time roles are switched.
Redemption time for the AllKnighters? We'll see.
Anchorage is one game back of the wild card spot, behind a talented
Tijuana Border Patrol team that has struggled with injuries constantly. Though
still alive, Anchorage's post-season hopes faded greatly after the Patrol's
win yesterday, while the Abominations sat idle. The players on the 'Boms
decided that it was time to focus on their rivals and forget about post season.
"This isn't about playoffs, post-season, or whatever. It is about hate. Pure
and simple hate. Hate with no regard for human suffering or death. One team
will come out of this series the victor, and the other will most likely be
stomped into a fine powder that could possibly be tasty on a burger." said
Anchorage outfielder Stan Javier. "We're going there for revenge. We'll
try to get it on the field, but if we have to resort to violence off the field,
well, so be it." said AllKnighter outfielder Quinton McCracken. "It'll be
a bloodbath the likes of which the PVBL has never seen."
The Abominations team has been scarred by violence on a daily basis since
moving from Cincinnati. Riots, theft, vandalism, murder, and under-age
drinking are commonplace in the stands at Poopmoose Park, but the fans don't
mind. "What would a baseball game be if everyone made it home alive from the
game?" said one fan. "Its tradition. Its as much a part of the game as
gambling and the nudie show between innings." To date there have been 122
deaths at Poopmoose Park, 4 arrests, and 2 convictions.
Anchorage has contemplated relocating the team due to the excessive violence
eating away at the attendence totals. "Killing your customers is not usually
viewed as a good thing in the entertainment industry. Sure its fun, but it
takes a toll on the pocketbook after a while." said owner Nick Tulach. "But
we'll be in Anchorage as long as I can afford to keep us here."
The AllKnighters come from a peacefull Ann Arbor community but have also
be prone to violence when travelling to Anchorage. "Its something about that
town. Maybe its the blood flowing do the streets or the severed heads atop
all the lamp posts. I don't know. It makes for an exciting matchup though."
said AllKnighter catcher Ben Petrick. That it does. That it definately does.
