Despite Rumours, Bears Owner is still Alive September 6, 1999
KAMLOOPS (CP)- Paul Glass is alive and well, despite rumours that he
suffered a fatal nervous breakdown after trading away his second round
amateur pick in next year's draft.
"When I realized what I had done, I got pissed, then I calmed down a
bit, then I got pissed drunk," Glass announced to the media today in his
first press conference since Sunday's trade. "But don't worry about me,
I'll make it."
As of now the Kamloops Bears aren't doing too well but that was to be
expected. Hopefully, their fortunes will change next season as they will
have 5 first round picks, three in the free agent draft and two top ten
picks in the amateur draft.
Glass also noted that the league has been full of bitching over the past
few days concerning every minute detail.
"I heard this was the best league around, that's why I've wanted to get
a PVBL franchise for a few months. So far, everyone's been pretty damn
uptight. In order to do my best to restore an atmosphere of fun to this
league, I am announcing that our team has reached a partnership with
Kellogg's. They are using their 'Fruit Loops' flavoured cereal to
sponsor our team."
Advertisements are being posted on the fences and a giant Cherry Fruit
Loop is being erected behind the center field wall. If a homerun flies
through the loop, Kellogg's will award a lifetime supply of cereal to
the player who hits it. At 437 feet from the plate, not too many people
will have a shot at it. Maybe when the Big Hurt comes to town...
On a personal note, let's lighten up guys and just enjoy this league for
what it is: a good opportunity to enjoy a sport that we love while
meeting people from across the continent.
