New Diggens, WI--Early this afternoon, GM Leon Durham of the New Diggens
Budweiser Frogs acquired infielder Jody Reed from the Galena Hamsters for
a box of baseballs and 20 Topps Jody Reed baseball cards. Durham was at
first offended by the offer, but eventualy accepted Peck's proposition, "I
was about ready to punch the commissioner in the face," admited Durham,
"but then I realized that we really needed an infielder, and while I don't
think any layer should be reduced to a box of baseballs, I hope that Reed
will be happy to have a chance to play here in New Diggens, taking the
place of injured Manny Alexander."
New Diggens GM Leon Durham has been credited with reshaping the
New Diggens franchise into a playoff contender, "It's amazing. Two years
ago I was in the crackhouse. I tried to keep my nose clean, but it was
tough. I gotta thank New Diggens owner Rhett FOley for guiding me throught
that tough time. Now, I'm a GM for a major baseball team and I've more or
less overcome my addiction to crack! I feel great."
Foley thinks Durham is still a crackhead, but doesn't want to say
it to his face. "Durham is a big guy," noted not so small Foley, "I don't
want to get beat up, and the fact that he's remolded our ballclub into a
contender. I'm happy. Let 'em smoke his crack!"
Reed is expected to make the seven mile trip to New Diggens
tomorrow to join his new team, "I can't wait to get a chanc to play with
New Diggens," noted Reed, "Foley gives out free beer passes at the local
bbar. I plan to take advantage of that! New Diggens General Store, here I
come!!"
Not only has Durham been the full-time New Diggens GM, but he's
also been visiting local schools, giving talks about his addiction to
crack cocaine, "Look at me! I quit crack cocaine and now I'm head GM of
the New Diggens Budweiser Frogs. If you wanna succeed, take crack and
break the addiction. Look where it got me!! Now I practice the much safer
pasttime of alcoholism."
Peck could not be reached for comment about this trade, or about
Durham's recent comments.
