Houston Hellraisers Involved in Illegal Activities April 6, 1998
Washington, D.C. (AP)-- An investigation of the Houston Hellraisers franchise in the Pepper
Virtual Baseball League has supposedly discovered illegal activities.
Attorney General Janet Reno, leader of the investigation, purportedly found
that not only has owner Jay Scudieri used shady trading tactics, but some of
the players on the team may be illegal immigrants.
"I can not say very much at this time," said Attorney General Reno in a
press conference held at the White House earlier today. "However, I regret
to report that I have in fact found the Houston franchise to be guilty of a
number of infractions. As to the exact nature and number of these
infractions, I can not at this time specify. For now, I urge owners to
carefully consider any deal with the team before accepting it."
The Hellraisers were one of the worst teams of the PVBL last season.
They finished well behind the rest of the Riker division and looked to have
little chance of even playing .500 ball this season. But through a number
of unfair trades, the team has acquired a team which scares even the mighty
105-game-winning Punxatawney Groundhogs. They have even been picked
to beat the Groundhogs and take the Riker crown this year.
"This can't be fair!" said Hogs owner Dan Shapiro. "Give me a break.
They were horrid last year, and now they have a team of all-stars. They
must have done something illegal--that Scudieri fellow had me worried from
the start."
Scudieri could not be reached for comment and a confidential, unnamed
source reported that he was "trying to find a way out." However, further
investigations are expected by various governmental agencies in hopes of
exposing Houston's illegal activities.
