To All Owners of Pepper Virtual Baseball League (PVBL) Franchises:
The Judicial Branch of the United States Government is initiating an
investigation into the affairs of the Houston Hellraisers, a team whose
ownership was transferred to Jay Scudieri prior to end of the first complete
season of PVBL baseball. This team named the "North Spokane Titans" for
much of the season has drastically changed in character of its players over
the offseason. The White House is investigating this because it fears that
Mr. Scudieri engaged in illegal trading practices of coercion and inadequate
compensation.
Attorney General Janet Reno has been appointed to investigate this case.
The reason such a lofty official will carry out the investigation is because
of her past "involvement" in PVBL affairs. This investigation will be
ongoing throughout the next few months and it is possible that multiple
government agencies, including the CIA and FBI, may become involved. This
is because of alleged rumors of other illegal activity with the franchise
which can not be revealed now or the investigation could be harmed
irreperably.
We ask that you answer all questions asked of you to aid our investigation.
We sincerely hope this investigation is for naught, but fear for the worst.
It is ludicrous to think any team so bad could become so talent laden so
swiftly without any illegal moves.
We thank you in advance for your cooperation with any and all government
agencies that take part in this investigation.
White House Press Office
re: Judicial Branch Investigation/Attorney General Janet Reno
