Duluth News - Recent accusations have been brought up against the Whaler GM's
"juicing" of his team. Reports have so far verified that the club's
Gatorade has been spiked with a "Muscle endusing formula" for the entirity
of this season and much of last year's championship run. "..I knew
something was up when that has been Phillips started tearing things up. I
mean, use some discretion huh?? It doesn't take a brain to see the light
of that one, and of course, given Tony's love of substances, it's no
wonder he's remaining with the team this long with few to no problems.",
sportscaster Dan Patrick had to comment. The Whaler's waterboy refused to
comment on the juice. Ex-Whaler Ken Griffey Jr. has suffered an
incredible "slump" with ex-teammate Sheffield as of late, but could their
be more to this? ".. and when Sheff and I had some questions as to what
exactly was in the drink, we were told to leave well enough alone. That
was fine until Gary started showing side effects. So me and Sheff one
night stayed at the park until everyone else left and checked things out
for ourselves, and let me tell you this ain't no protein drink, Creatin?
Not even close. After realizing this, Sheff and I started bringing our
own liquid refreshments to the party, you know water and stuff,
personally, I like All-Sport, the Fruit Punch is exquisite, especially the
way it" Griffey commented before being interupted by Sheffield, "
anyways, we basically stopped drink the stuff in fear for our health, and
in return, our bodies went to crap, I couldn't hit water out of a boat.
Needless to say, being Jeremy's guinea pigs wasn't written anywhere in our
contract. I think he might try to market this new "sports drink" to
compensate the losses he's endured from his Sportscenter purchase. In
light of all this, Ken and I requested the trade." Whaler GM Jeremy was
unable to be reached for comment, but showed public concern while driving
an unmarked truck into the stadium's concession area. When told he might
lose his PVBL championship trophy plus franchise ownership he replied with
team spirit, showing all in a furious wave of the hand, that his Whalers,
at least in his mind, is "#1". Leud conduct charges are being followed up
on for that one. At press release time, Jeremy had yet to be attained by
the local authorities, and is still believed to be "at large" driving an
unmarked truck supposedly containing his secret sauce. More news to
follow.
