Hi this Troy Mcclure, you might know me as a major film star, but part of
my probation is to be the beat writer for the Springfield Atoms. So
every week I will be submitting, with the aid of the court, a column for
The Burns Review.
Springfield (AP)- The Springfield Atoms announced today that Mr. Burns
made a huge trade that sent one of the most sought after
closers(Wettland's words not mine) , John Wetteland, along with CF
prospect Roger Cedeno and SS prospect Deivi Cruz to the Brooklyn Flaming
Skulls. In return Springfield got vaunted closer Randy Meyers, 2B
Noberto Martine, and 3B Angel Sherid.
Burns was quite gleeful at the press conference, saying "that
these young chaps are going to put us over the top". He was also quite
happy to get rid of the prospect Deivi Cruz, who also worked part-time at
the Springfield Nuclear Power plant as an aide to some balding fellow in
sector 7G. Turns out Cruz had be written up many times for sleeping on
the job.
The trade did leave an abundance of power hitters at 3B. Burns
has said that he will entertain any offers to relieve this situation.
In other news, Atoms skipper Ned Flanders almost had a heart
attack on Tuesday when he learned that Spokane had traded for David Cone.
Sources say that he was mumbling about Spokane never listening to his
advise about not trading Cone in the first place. And how the owner
Jeremey Stephens only wanted to make Flanders look bad, professionally,
by trading all the quality pitchers last year. As we know Flanders was
the highly criticized pitching coach for Spokane last year, whose staff
had an ERA of over 7.00 last year. Flanders has vowed to go undefeated
against Spokane this year-no matter what the costs to his well being!
