Springfield(AP)-Many of the owners might be wondering about the new
owners of the Springfield Atoms, formerly the Calgary North Losers. The
real story is the new manager of the Atoms, Ned Flanders. Flanders is
the ex-pitching coach of the Spokane Pirates. This would make Flanders a
curious choice for the job, since his pitching staff had the highest ERA
of the league last year, which surpassed the 7.00 barrier. Flanders
insists it was purely the management of Spokane's fault, since it was
their lack of thinking that traded David Cone, and their failure to get a
front line starter during the stretch run last year. Needless to say
Flanders and Spokane did not leave on good terms.
After resigning from the Pirates, Flanders pretty much sold his
soul to the devil. See, Flanders is part of the ownership group that
bought and then moved the Calgary North Losers to Springfield. Also in
the ownership group, the man who's bringing the big bucks, is Montgomery
Burns. Burns who is notorious for being a penny pinching boss, is saying
Flanders will take the Atoms all the way in their inaugural year in
Springfield. When asked why he thinks the Atoms are going to be so much
better than last year, Burns responded that "Flanders had better or
he'll be given cement shoes". When asked about Flanders five year
contract, Burns responded-"my team of lawyers wrote lots of loop holes in
the contract."
It seems the Atoms are under better management this year, as they
will play in a new stadium, which is an exact replica of Camden Yards,
named Montgomery Burns Memorial Stadium. The stadium holds about
65,000, which is about 35,000 more than the population of Springfield
itself. Burns is confident that the Atoms will be able to sellout every
home game with the help of nearby Capital City. Burns has said that even
though he has cut corners at the power plant, which has had numerous
safety violations where his team of lawyers have had to bail him out, he
has vowed to spare no expense.
Flanders and Burns do agree that changes need to be made, and the
upcoming draft would be very important. But, as most of the owners know,
the Atoms missed the first round of the draft. Flanders suspects fowl
play from Spokane, since it was Spokane that gave Springfield the time
and the address of the draft. So instead of picking Jose Cruz Jr. the
Atoms will build with veterans and trades. Burns will not turn down any
reasonable offer that will bring Griffey, Arod, Buhner, or Edgar Martinez
home to Springfield. Actually Burns has said he will entertain all
reasonable offers. Mr. Burns can be e-mailed at wats10@juno.com.
